friendship and love

Know what love is.















The definition for love is not easy. Every culture in history has had
a different definition for the word but I will try to give a very
wide one.

Love is a deep feeling of affection for someone else. Love usually
comes along with affection, respect, admiration and a constant need
to be close to the one you love. Also – this is very important- love
comes in both ways. You can not be in love of someone who does
not even know you exist. That is most likely to be an obsession but
it is not love for sure.

Love is both a psychological and chemical process. It all begins with
lust. Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating
and involves the release of chemicals such as testosterone and
estrogen. Then comes the attraction. Attraction is the more
individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate. In the
attraction process, the brain releases many chemicals which causes effects like loss of sleep and appetite and an intense feeling of
excitement. For many schollars this stage last no more than 3 years.
After the lust and attraction stages comes the attachment. Attachment is the bond that allows the relationships last for decades. The
attachment is reached with the sum of variables such as marriage, children,friendship and common interests.
This lead us to our first premise. If you are looking for someone to love try also to find a very good friend. That friendship creates a
very solid and lasting relationship.

Know what love is not

Now that you know what love is, you will identify easily what love is not. Your are not in love if the other person does not even want
to talk to you. You might be attracted to someone but that is not love.

If you meet a very beautiful girl or a very interesting man, you will probably be attracted but you will definitely not be in love.

Learn to identify the different stages and learn to control your feelings. In that way you will find love a lot easier and you will protect
yourself from a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Identify the type of person you like

At this point you have to know exactly who you are. Now you will have to find out what is the kind of personality and type of person
that you like. This might seem very simple, but an often mistake is to go out just with the wrong kind of people.

Make a list with the specific personality that you would enjoy and love in someone and try to date the people that match your list. If
you are the kind of people that love sports, then do not go out with someone that hates sports. It is as simple as that.

In the end the most important is that the person that you choose respect you just the way you are and loves everything about you, the
good and the bad.

Identify the kind of relationship that you want

This is really important. Before going out with anybody, be clear of your objectives. Make up your mind if you just want to have fun,
a relationship or marriage. Once you know what you want, tell the other person about it. In that way both will know what it is all going
to be about.

Let me say this: Do not lie. Eventually the other person will find out that you were lying and things will get ugly.

Know the facts

If you think dating is hard, let me bring the headlines to you, finding your true love is even harder. Be ready. You will probably get to
know a lot of people. Many of them will become your friends. But your true love is not going to be waiting for you right outside your
door. You will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs to get your prince or princess, but I sure hope that these tips can eventually make your search easier.


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